I’ve decided I’ve become a comet. Not sure if I’m ok with it, but I’ve got a long orbital cycle to think about it.
Context from a private conversation yesterday with someone I worked with just over a decade ago :
Struggling with motivation to work, as the company gets larger and team structure changes.
I’m a comet. I have short blazing periods of hold my beer watch this and long long periods of cold contemplative silence watching the changes near the centre of the company.
Have let two others be more in drivers seat as we migrate to two new datacentres. Providing my effort more often in advice or here’s how you help yourself find that answer.
There are a few items I want to accomplish for myself (and the team) before I begin the search for the next thing. I have some lateral movement possible but not to my tastes. Probably going to try to time it so I reach my next sabbatical first. I’ve got 2.5 years until then.
On the other hand, I still keep this note from a manager and friend I had around the same time as the person I was talking with yesterday. She’s no longer with us, but her words are.
Her words, quoting back my words from early on at the company I’m orbiting.
I read and re-read them every time I get into listless dysphoria funk why-am-I-still-at-this-place moods.
The stress comes and goes, but I generally force myself into lower stress modes when I recognize it’s getting out of control.
Low Stress. Steady Money. OK People.
SysAdmin Work, at least in what I’m doing or can do at this place, is not terribly interesting to me any more.
But does that really matter?